date: apr 30, 2025 time: 2:50pm location: medellin, colombia
OK, I do not like wearing short skirts because they make me uncomfortable and then I have to think about how it looks to the outside world when I just wanna enjoy my walk and I wanna see the trees and the beautiful and that are going up and down the trees, and I wanna see the flowers, the flowers that are on the trees and the flowers that fall And then every morning juan the guy in our building collects those flowers. I wonder where he keeps them I donât know I thought about asking him if he can give them to me, but then I was like what would I do to them? Iâve already put enough in my journal and I do not have space for more so maybe letâs not try to hoard the abandoned flowers on the ground But see when Iâm going on my walk, thatâs thatâs what I wanna thatâs what I want to focus on the flowers the greenery and so many beautiful colours around me over focussing on what am I feeling and how does it look outside
so I wanna buy some nice things so maybe I should go shopping and I should get some Thingthat feels OK to wear and would not make me feel uncomfortable when Iâm going on my daily nature walk and Iâm looking at flowers like I donât want to be invisible, but I want to be unbothered. Does that make sense? I like wearing clothes that cover me up I guess thatâs what Iâm trying to say because then I can focus on other things.
It is important that I take care of myself. It is important that I listen to my needs. It is important that I give my body what it needs and sometimes itâs heavy.
clothes - it takes away some being fully present people will see no matter what you do people will locate you in a good or bad way thatâs like letâs not talk about it if youâre a woman and if you are a beautiful Bonita Mamacita, which Iâve been told a couple times, so let me just take it look at you so you become immune to the gaze at some point. Worrying or stop letting it affect you a good or bad it just goes to algorithm in your brain Where it gets neutralized and youâre like oh and opinion of a stranger on the road how wonderful
pretend when I wear a short clothes I feel I get more I try to control the or I become more aware of the opinions because of the way Iâm dressed not that not that itâs a good bad thing but if I can control it, I would I would do that. I am all in for women should do whatever they wanna do they should wear whatever they wanna wear, and I think it should come with the sense of I know who I am. I know what I want and in order to focus on my dreams, goals, desires, blah blah blah. This is the clothing I wanna wear todaythatâs it. OK Iâm going to go in the shop.
This shop has too much of animal prints. Iâm not an animal print person. I am more of a monochrome person. I definitely have my favourites when it comes to the colors. when you start observing what your hand picks up, like I see what youâre doing. I see we have a favorite .
Yeah, at the shop I go in. I look at stuff. The prices are way too expensive but theyâre offering but also I was like oh I should just go to thrift store and I say, Muchas Gracias and she said hasta luego. Iâm not going to come back, but they say nevertheless, and I smile maybe I will come back because itâs the store just next to where I live and if I go For some finding trying to find something that calls to me, call me
I donât know exactly
So while the chicoâs on the street, look at me and call me, Mamacita, the Chicas in the thrift store said me encanta me encanta me encanta. three times. emphasizing that s liked my look when I asked them if they also buy stuff because I would like to trade or give back the things that I do not wear anymore I think we should all do that more often.
i bought a cute demin shirt from the thrift store. and something that looked like skirt but goes best as a window decor.
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And while the Chica said me encanta three times all I was thinking oh my God I have to have so many other looks to show to her. This is not even the final look. I think Iâm really getting into personal style. I donât know if anyone wants to hire me as the personal stylist I think Iâve got an eye for clothes, especially Mentes clothes of course awful limited to the places. Iâm at right now sidenote to myself.
I donât want judgemental look some people not that I can avoid it, but I really feel people can pass off energy and as much as Iâve tried to work on protecting my energy, sometimes energy leaks the judgment, the look eye that someone goes no matter how much you have protected the walls around you to keep to yourself and focus on looking cute looking like a Mamacita And observing the aunt on the flowers it impacts you so what do you do you do whatever it takes to bring back the power to you and that that is going to look very different for every person for me it means dressing up really cute but a bit modest where when someone looks at methe case is softened. Itâs again I donât I donât know exactly how to describe it, but the soften gaze doesnât no matter what is being so at me am I making sense?